What made the difference in the WC Final can make the difference for you.
I was honoured to speak at the regional conference of a major retailer. With the World Cup about to happen the theme was rugby.
I bravely declared that I believe that the Springboks would win the World Cup. I argued that the reason was that the Boks had spent 4 years building an “X-factor” which would give us an edge over all other teams in the competition. Three nail-biting, one-point finishes later, and I am now even more convinced that it was the X-factor which made the difference.
I challenged the audience to guess what this x-factor was. I went even further, claiming that this same X-factor could, more than any other, predict whether your children, and your marriage thrive, and would be the reason why you would progress in your career, or your business would grow.
Hands flew up, “passion”, “skill”, “positive mindset”, “energy”, “empathy”, “focus”, and on and on… I responded to each with “yes, that could help, but it is not the one thing which would overshadow all else”. They carried on; “wisdom”, “commitment”, “hard work” … again I agreed that these would all help but no, they are not the x-factor. There is something more important.
Finally, with the group running out of suggestions, I explained that the one thing, above all others, which would determine your success as a parent, as a partner, or as a leader or organisation, is not all the things that you do. In fact, this X-factor is only partially within your control.
What makes the difference is how you are perceived by the people that you parent, partner, lead, your bosses, or clients. In particular, based on what they have experienced of you, if they trust you.
If they trust you anything is possible.
And if they don’t trust you then you are left with your title, and the fear or control it implies. “I am your parent, boss etc”. You will comply, but without your heart, without trust.
Trust in this modern society is in crisis. People don’t trust much these days. The global measure of trust, ‘The Elderman Barometer’, shows that, as a global society, we are near an all-time low on trust. Sadly, without trust we are forced to lead using fear or control. People do not respond well to fear and the result is compliance. This means that the minimum “me” is on offer.
On the other hand, as our green and gold displayed so spectacularly, in an environment of complete trust, we are able to dig deep, and when the chips are down, dig even deeper, and when the cause seems lost, go deeper still. Listen to this inspiring interview with Siya Kolisi https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=349987547287956, as we open up to each other and develop a deep sense of connection, we learn to trust each other and because I trust you, I dig deeper, because I know you will do the same.
I am convinced that, not only is this the right way to relate to others, but it also provides an almost unbeatable advantage. When teams have similar levels of talent and resources, the quality of our relationship takes over as the source of competitive advantage.
Viva Siya, Viva Jacques and Rassie Viva Ama Boko Boko!
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